Am I awake? What I is it that is awake? Consciousness is present. Awareness is here, aware of experience. Experience becomes increasingly… what. Random, chaotic, free? Its definitely not following the rules of society’s norms anymore. Or even the material world.
So, as I cease to have meaning. Cease to have form or substance. Awareness is aware, perhaps that is to be awake. I am that awareness, shining through a person and a body. So am I awake? I do not know. I am nothing. How can nothing be awake? Is there ever anything but nothing that can be awake? To what extent can the limited be awake? Its limited awakeness then I suppose.
And both has place in me, the finite and the infinite. The conundrum will never be solved, its a dynamic to be experienced. A dance to dance. I am dancing, a dancer and the dance.
So am I awake? The question itself is not “correct”. The finite will never be awake and the infinite will never be asleep. Only in form is the question asked and in form then the answer is always no. Yet I am awake. But not in form. In my formless state I am never asleep. I’ve always been awake. That I is what has taken form, so yes I am awake. The form itself is not. Yet it is experienced by an awakened I. Form opening up to house the unlimited without restriction. The infinite becoming finite without loosing its infinity, even in the form.
The finite expressing the infinite without fully realizing its own grandeur. A dynamic to be experienced, not comprehended.
To be surrendered into.
The resistance to form by form, the shackle keeping itself tied down to its own form. What a joke.
The notion that the ego is not satisfied, and the realization that it never will be satisfied, so it’s no use even trying to satisfy it. That struggle can be surrendered.
Then that which is satisfied may emerge.